Rachel Pott
Freelance Writer & Communications Professional
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Archive for Musings

Posted by Rachel Pott 
· September 28, 2014 
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Paper Words

“I fell flat on my face, but didn’t lose.”

Today was one of those days, where the air’s constrictive grip wrapped heavy on my lungs. Steps felt leaden, my pace slowing to match the nonexistent speed at which I could meet an incoming challenge. Thoughts spinning without conclusion, lost in emotional waves. Anger, frustration, hurt, and fear.

Still, there is something internally calming in walking face first into a closed door. Moving beyond the bruise, there is no twisting sense of unknown, no confusion as to the placement of words and thoughts. Clarity finds you in the most peculiar of places. Places that I would, with all my being, wish not to sit, but which create a jumpstart that you just can’t talk your way around.

Diving into determination is my escape. Some have laughed at what many would consider an inordinate level of stubbornness and grit. While it is likely what got me here to begin with, it is what kicks the dust to change this emotional overload into something productive. It is the reason that I create paper words, placing them at a distance until they’re cool enough to handle.

Yes, today has been far from the best of days. But if it’s moving me in the right direction, then for that I’m grateful.

-quote by Little Dragon

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Categories : Musings
Tags : change, clarity, determination, emotions, endings and beginnings, moving forward, positivity, stubborn
Posted by Rachel Pott 
· July 29, 2014 
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Being Vulnerable

“If you just wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up, one day you’ll forget why” – Phil Kaye

It is so easy to slip into habit, to forget to hold onto the strings of intention that connect the multitude of thoughts within myself. Sliding from one word, one step, one day to the next next next next next. With uncertainty looming in the future, an anxious desire to prove myself becomes intertwined with a perfectionist tendency for unrealistic comparisons. My attention catches onto thoughts, actions and achievements, combining discrete elements of personalities into an unattainable ideal.

There are times, when I don’t step back to connect my thoughts to reality, to place pen to paper, to match letters with thoughts, that my words subtly change, molding around those of others – a subconscious attempt to emulate a perceived reality. The meaning separates from the movement of tongue to teeth until I hold the words in my mouth, no longer recognizing the shapes. The curves and angles of each letter appear foreign, twisting in directions that do not match the thoughts in my mind.

It is in this moment that I realize that somewhere, along the way, I drifted too far from my own self. That I am caught in a current that is headed in an entirely different direction, the compass point spinning far from true north. It is the moment where I realize that I forgot how to love myself in all entirety. That I have become caught up in the eyes watching and let my words slip out all too softly and quickly. Forgetting the conviction that used to hold them to the ground.

However, through all of this, “the point isn’t to live without any regrets. The point is to not hate ourselves for having them.” The point is to move beyond the overwhelming cloud of emotion that regret evokes, and see a clearer memory of the past. While there is immense vulnerability in the recognition of regret, and fear in knowing that not all of my decisions have led me to places where I wanted to stay, seeing the moments altogether, with the struggles and moments of clarity, means that I wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up and remember why.

-quote by Kathryn Schulz

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Categories : Musings
Tags : Kathryn Schulz, Phil Kaye, regret, self love, spoken word, TED, uncertainty, vulnerability
Posted by Rachel Pott 
· April 7, 2014 
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Everyone Needs a Place. It Shouldn’t Be Inside of Someone Else.

I think we are altogether too willing to settle. To see time as an impending ticking clock to be contended with through denial or fear. We try to become a certain type of person that we believe will interest others, as though reading minds suddenly became our forte. As though we will stand out while at the same time creating the limiting box in which to stand. We mold and contort ourselves according to the opinions and visions of others, entangled in which thoughts are ours or theirs. Objective clarity can seem nearly impossible when the thoughts are presented by those you love and respect.

 

I think that we often fail to recognize the world of choice that is before us – more than at any other time in human history. The sheer expanse of options is paralyzing, creating indecisiveness out of a set of imposed realities that we construct to find order in this chaos. To make sense of it. It is as though, by having so much choice in the world, it has made us afraid that we will be passed by altogether too easily.

 

The poem below is by one of my favorite slam poets, Sarah Kay. This piece is chosen out of love for all of the beautiful women in my life, each one of whom I have been unbelievably blessed to know and have by my side. It is for the strength and wisdom that you hold, and which you continue to learn and provide. But most importantly, this is for the times where you do not always see the beauty that I see. Where the mirror holds judgment instead of reflection, self-doubt instead of certainty.

 

This is for all of those women who have forgiven others, but not themselves. Who have held themselves or been held to standards that they should never be expected to meet. Who have struggled to combine feeling broken with looking desirable. Who have ever been made to feel that what they know to be true of themselves was not good enough. Who have hidden their light out of fear that it wasn’t appealing to shine so fluorescently bright. Who have been with someone who didn’t have the strength to let them grow. Who have shrunk themselves to create space within which they could hide, out of fear of taking up too much room.

 

This is for you.

 

The Type
by Sarah Kay

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,
You can let them look at you.
But do not mistake eyes for hands,
Or windows, or mirrors.
Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may not have ever seen one before.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
You can let them touch you.
Sometimes, it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer, another woman –
But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian, or a muse, or a promise, or a victim or a snack.
You are a woman –
Skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat
You are not made of metaphors,
Not apologies, not excuses.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,
You can let them hold you.
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright.
Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural,
Still strains the muscles, holds firm the arms and spine.
Only some men will want to learn what it feels like to curl themselves into a question mark around you,
Admit they do not have the answers they thought they would by now.
Some men will want to hold you like the answer.
You are not the answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem, or the punch line, or the riddle, or the joke.

Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love,
You can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving.
When you fall in love,
It is discovering the ocean after years of puddle jumping.
It is realising you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope after the crowds have all gone home.
Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of woman men will hurt.
If he leaves you with a car alarm heart.
You learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean,
Even after it’s left you gasping, salty.
So forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made,
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night,
And know this.
Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
You are a woman who can build it yourself.
You are born to build.

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Categories : Musings
Posted by Rachel Pott 
· March 27, 2014 
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An Open Letter to Myself

“Life can swing one hell of a knock-out punch
But you picked yourself off the ground
Never diminish the strength that took”

Putting pen to paper is when the pitching mass of thoughts make sense. So, logic would have it, there was always the thought that writing advice would make these ideas click into practice. Most often, this came in the form of journal entries, melodramatic dialogues situated partway between lecture and self-critical epithets. This is likely why the practice never stuck. Each journal entry began with the tone of a New Year’s resolution, promises so far from what was realistically needed at the time. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, without ever realizing what we have done.

This letter is to that person.

You are beautiful
While the mirror holds true, your eyes tint the reflection
Know and hold onto this on the days when your hands hold flaws
Then, perspective is everything

You are passionate
Take in criticism, but value your beliefs
Never hesitate to defend them with all of your heart
When others won’t, stand your ground

You are powerful
Life can swing one hell of a knock-out punch
But you picked yourself off the ground
Never diminish the strength that took

You are intuitive
Be honest with yourself
Second guessing leads to mistakes, not more perspective
Trust in what you know to be good

You are loving
Support yourself, when loneliness lingers
Hold your heart gently
Don’t let fear tighten the grip


Above all, trust yourself to be happy. Take the risks that you need to make sure that happens. Your emotions are valid, not out of place or over the top. Prioritize those who realize these parts of you, and those who open their hearts to do the same with themselves. At the same time, don’t be afraid to be alone. Be realistic, but never fail to imagine and dream- while life is certainly no fairy tale, it is most completely full of wonder and opportunity. Never cheat yourself out of this.

Love and forgive yourself. The world has enough critics, ten times over. Hold onto these thoughts on days when that person inside yourself comes up, and know, “I already am, always was, and I still have time to be”.

-quote by Anis Mojgani

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Categories : Musings
Tags : open letter, optimism, self love
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